tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028607259735637511.post175104368143226648..comments2011-04-21T21:24:27.352+01:00Comments on wordvoodoo: Temberenglishguruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15025638700691896951noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028607259735637511.post-38411606806071458472010-10-14T16:52:37.084+01:002010-10-14T16:52:37.084+01:00By the way, what does your title mean? Or am I bei...By the way, what does your title mean? Or am I being obtuse?englishguruhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15025638700691896951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028607259735637511.post-76157536571951269072010-10-14T16:49:01.001+01:002010-10-14T16:49:01.001+01:00Like "At the park" below, your piece too...Like "At the park" below, your piece too seems to hang on a trick whose depth is dubious. We think it is his lover; we then find out it is his cat. Clever - but not necessarily as effective as it could have been, as a narrative device (see my comment below on the other piece too).<br /><br />That said, there is some great writing her. "She came to me one morning" is a great first sentence - simple, but indicating the very beginning of a special bond. The sentence about her eyes is great, and beautifully structured. And I like the description of her as your "point of gravity", a metaphor ripe for extension.<br /><br />I guess what I am saying is that your final sentence is an example of bathos - a potentially useful literary device in itself, but perhaps not at the crucial climax of a 101-word piece such as this.englishguruhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15025638700691896951noreply@blogger.com