Sunday, 10 October 2010

The Man and His Dog

The man looked down. The dog, right back up. That look held an intensity ,something beyond ordinary, beyond human comprehension. That look, was full of trust, of companionship and of undying friendship. The man reached down to scratch the dog’s ear, no longer a task but a habit. The dog stretched, relishing the touch of a human hand on it’s fur. They were two companions, companions who had shared freezing winters, blazing summers and looked at danger straight in the eye, together. Their bond held something beyond ordinary, something that could not be described in mere words... Together they sat, content.

1 comment:

  1. I love the simplicity of this piece. At first, I was disappointed at the lack of tension and striking climax; but, upon rereading, I wonder whether that matters. If it is a piece about a unique and special bond, then the final, four-word sentence concludes it perfectly. Equally, as an exposition on this special relationship, your other phrases are wonderful too: "no longer a task but a habit"..."relishing the touch of a human hand"..."freezing winters, blazing summers"... This is all fantastic writing. (As long as I see evidence in future tasks of the capacity for something darker, more suspenseful, odder, perhaps?)

    Therefore, maybe, the areas for development are perhaps more pedantic and technical. For example, I would use a semi-colon rather than a full stop after "The man looked down". There needs to be no comma after "That look" in the fourth sentence. I'd probably use a dash/hyphen after "dog's ear", rather than just a comma. And, above all, there is no apostrophe in "its fur".

    But you should be proud that it is technicalities on which I am commenting. The style and language is refreshingly pure; and powerful.


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